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Someone wrote in
2010-08-04 01:08 am (UTC)
Fill: Common Scents
Old Spice Man didn't know how he ended up in the U.S. Senate gym's showers. It didn't matter. Maybe today he was a senator. That seemed appropriate.
Old Spice Man also didn't know how to process what he was seeing. Yes, that was Vice President Man, a man Old Spice Man knew was made of testosterone and strong words. A man Old Spice Man was sure unironically greeted women with a hearty, "Hello, ladies," and meant it.
A man holding what appeared to be flowery, pink body wash. Lady scented. Old Spice Man reacted in horror. "Vice President Man-"
"Call me Joe," Vice President Man said.
Old Spice Man narrowed his eyes. What man didn't like titles? "Joe," he said slowly, "why are you using that Lady Scented Body Wash?"
Vice President Man looked down at his body wash and frowned. "This? It's just soap."
"But it smells...for the ladies." Even in his confusion, Old Spice Man knew he sounded suave.
At that, Vice President Man treated him to a blinding grin. "It smells like soap. 'Cause it's soap. There's nothing manly or unmanly about soap, Man."
Perhaps Vice President Man was right. There was no need to assign gender stereotypes to soap, or perpetuate potentially harmful gender binaries with shower products. Old Spice Man smelled good because he was Old Spice Man, not because his soap made him more male than men who used other soaps. "A fair point," he pronounced, "though my body wash is still superior." It was superior because it was his, and it was his because it was superior.
Vice President Man shrugged, which Old Spice Man took as a victory!. Then he swung his arm around Old Spice Man's shoulders. "If you say so. Listen, that presidential abs-point thing?" Vice President Man punched him lightly in his muscular, sculpted chest. "We really like that. Good job, Senator Old Spice Man."
Old Spice Man smiled, feeling as though he had done a good job, and all was right in his world.
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