happydork: The man your man could smell like (from the Old Spice ad) with the caption: Hello Ladies (Hello Ladies)
happydork ([personal profile] happydork) wrote in [community profile] oldspice_kinkmeme2010-08-03 07:49 pm
Entry tags:

SWAN DIVE! INTO THE BEST KINK MEME OF YOUR LIFE!

Look at your kink meme. Now back to this comm. Now back at your kink meme. Now back to this comm. Sadly, it isn't this comm, but if it stopped featuring other fandoms and switched to writing about The Old Spice Man, it could smell like this comm:

-- Please post each new prompt as the start of a new thread.
-- If you are filling a prompt, please post your fill as a reply to that comment and include the word "fill" in the title of your comment.
-- Please keep things civil.
-- If something needs the attention of the mods, please post a comment with the word "mods" in the title of that comment or email oldspicekinkmeme [at] gmail [dot] com.
-- I'm on a horse.


[EDIT as of 5th April 2013: The only traffic here is now spam, so anonymous comments have been turned off.]

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 12:18 am (UTC)(link)
Your favourite character from that fandom you love is using Lady Scented Body Wash! How will The Old Spice Man convince this character to smell like Old Spice and not a lady?

I'm in a comment.

Fill: Common Scents

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 01:08 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Man didn't know how he ended up in the U.S. Senate gym's showers. It didn't matter. Maybe today he was a senator. That seemed appropriate.

Old Spice Man also didn't know how to process what he was seeing. Yes, that was Vice President Man, a man Old Spice Man knew was made of testosterone and strong words. A man Old Spice Man was sure unironically greeted women with a hearty, "Hello, ladies," and meant it.

A man holding what appeared to be flowery, pink body wash. Lady scented. Old Spice Man reacted in horror. "Vice President Man-"

"Call me Joe," Vice President Man said.

Old Spice Man narrowed his eyes. What man didn't like titles? "Joe," he said slowly, "why are you using that Lady Scented Body Wash?"

Vice President Man looked down at his body wash and frowned. "This? It's just soap."

"But it smells...for the ladies." Even in his confusion, Old Spice Man knew he sounded suave.

At that, Vice President Man treated him to a blinding grin. "It smells like soap. 'Cause it's soap. There's nothing manly or unmanly about soap, Man."

Perhaps Vice President Man was right. There was no need to assign gender stereotypes to soap, or perpetuate potentially harmful gender binaries with shower products. Old Spice Man smelled good because he was Old Spice Man, not because his soap made him more male than men who used other soaps. "A fair point," he pronounced, "though my body wash is still superior." It was superior because it was his, and it was his because it was superior.

Vice President Man shrugged, which Old Spice Man took as a victory!. Then he swung his arm around Old Spice Man's shoulders. "If you say so. Listen, that presidential abs-point thing?" Vice President Man punched him lightly in his muscular, sculpted chest. "We really like that. Good job, Senator Old Spice Man."

Old Spice Man smiled, feeling as though he had done a good job, and all was right in his world.

The end.

Re: Fill: Common Scents

[personal profile] staranise - 2010-08-04 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Common Scents

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Common Scents

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 01:34 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Common Scents

[personal profile] toft - 2010-08-04 01:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Common Scents

[personal profile] allchildren - 2010-08-05 06:59 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Common Scents

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-25 01:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Common Scents

(Anonymous) - 2011-05-31 02:35 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Common Scents

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-31 02:44 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Man teaches the crew of the Firefly how to (a) bake a gourmet cake, (b) build a dream kitchen, or (c) ride a horse backwards.

It's entirely possible that Jayne falls in love with him, but that's up to you. :D

Minifill: HELLO SPACE SMUGGLERS

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
Hello, Space Smugglers.

Look at your crew. Now back to me. Now back to your crew. Now back at me. Sadly, your crew isn't me. But if they stopped using generic molded protein and switched to Old Spice Delux Molded Protein, they could bake gourmet cakes like they're me.

Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're in a SPACE KITCHEN, with the man your crew could bake cakes like.

What's on your plate? Back at me. I have it. It's two bullets for that gun you love. Look again. The bullets are now DIAMONDS.

Anything is possible when your crew bakes with Old Spice Delux Molded Protein, and not generic.

I'm on a Jayne.

(no subject)

[personal profile] bunners - 2010-08-04 02:50 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Minifill: HELLO SPACE SMUGGLERS

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-06 01:15 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
The Old Spice Man meets Jamie Hyneman in a bar while Adam is there and it's obvious that they've met before, and that they have an ongoing competition about who is the most manly. Adam is confused. Then they have a threesome!
mific: (Group hug)

Fill: Anything is Possible!

[personal profile] mific 2010-08-04 11:27 am (UTC)(link)
“Hey” said Jamie. “It’s Old Spice Man!” He punched the smarmy beefcake who’d pushed in between Adam and Jamie at the bar in the shoulder in a manly way. “Dude!”

“Hello, Jamie,” said Old Spice Man.

“Adam, this is Old Spice Man!” Jamie sounded weirdly excited. His mustache was twitching.

“Adam, look at me,” said the weird dude with the pecs, possibly trying to hypnotise Adam with his nipples.

Adam squinted at him suspiciously. It was hot in the bar but even so, kind of OTT to be wearing nothing but sprayed-on white pants and no shirt.

“Look at me,” said Old Spice Man. “Now look back at Jamie. Now back at me. Now back at Jamie again.” He stared at Adam meaningfully.

Was this dude for real? And what was with fucking Jamie? Instead of taking offence and going all narrow-eyed at this crap, he was beaming like this exhibitionist fucker was way cool and stripping off his shirt. What the fuck? Maybe the jackass had spiked his drink with roofies?

Jamie was bare-chested now, too, just a kerchief knotted around his neck. He stuck his rather hairier chest out. “Adam, look at me. Now look back at Old Spice Man. Now back at me.” Jamie raised his eyebrows meaningfully.

Adam backed off a pace, holding up his hands in a warding gesture. “Okay, I have no idea what you two are on but you’re freaking me the fuck out.”

Old Spice Man elbowed Jamie aside. “Look down, Adam.”

“Ah, wha-?” gulped Adam, trying not to look down. Those white pants left nothing to the imagination.

Jamie thrust Old Spice Man aside. “What’s in my hand, Adam?”

“Er, I think it’s a can of Bud, Jamie,”

“No, it’s two tickets to that thing you love,” said Jamie, inexplicably, then he grabbed Adam and, getting him in a headlock, thrust him nose-first into the Hyneman armpit.

“Argggh!” Adam thrashed, his curses muffled by manly-smelling flesh until he was summarily released.

“No Lady Scented Body Wash there!” declared Jamie with satisfaction, as Adam reeled.

A moment later, still utterly off-balance, Adam was grabbed again and crushed against the bronzed pectorals of Old Spice Man. “I’m the man your man could smell like,” crowed the insane fucker, mashing Adam’s nose into his sweaty, spicy-scented sternum.

It was too much. Adam gave up, deciding to just let the psychotic break happen and sort it out later. They dragged him out of the bar, raving about oysters and diamonds, and later there was a boat, and a horse – a horse? Adam was too busy to care at that point, nose-deep in Old Spice Man’s redolent groin while Jamie whipped his ass deliciously with a palm frond, shouting “Anything is possible!”

===================

Re: Fill: Anything is Possible!

[personal profile] toft - 2010-08-04 13:37 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Anything is Possible!

[personal profile] mific - 2010-08-04 13:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Anything is Possible!

[personal profile] pensnest - 2010-08-28 21:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: Anything is Possible!

[personal profile] mific - 2010-08-29 09:43 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
I WANT FIC WHERE THE OLD SPICE MAN EMERGES ONCE A GENERATION LIKE A VAMPIRE SLAYER WITH THE POWER TO BE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOD LOOKING. AND ALSO BEND REALITY AROUND HIMSELF.

Sorry for the all caps, I typed this somewhere else and didn't feel like retyping it.

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 04:00 am (UTC)(link)
It was a Tuesday, which meant that Old Spice Man was taking some time out from flexing his pectoral muscles to commune with the forces of nature that had made a manly man such as himself possible. He had a mission, you see. And that mission was to make the world 1000% more beautiful for a few wonderful years, until it was time for him to fly to the edge of the universe on the back of a golden unicorn. Only it wouldn't feel like years to everyone else. No, to everyone under the spell of his magnificently chiseled abs and bulging biceps, it would feel like an eternity of mind-bending awesome. Such was the power Old Spice Man had been granted, and a power like that was not to be taken lightly. It was essential he used his powers for the good of mankind.

And so the Old Spice man decided it was time to go take a stroll down the street, riding his horse backwards, giving out diamonds and manly body wash, and making all who crossed his path faint with pure delight. Fortunately, Old Spice Man was quick enough that every person who hit the ground was comforted by the delightful sensation of a crushed velvet pillow cushioning their fall. Such was the work put before him, and he would not rest until his purpose in life was complete.

(no subject)

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-25 02:07 (UTC) - Expand

Fill: A Call to Arms

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 04:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: A Call to Arms

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 05:16 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: A Call to Arms

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 12:33 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: A Call to Arms

[personal profile] milkshake_b - 2010-08-13 03:46 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill: A Call to Arms

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-25 02:18 (UTC) - Expand

^OMG

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 07:25 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
Look at me. Now look at your screen. What is that thing made of win and kittens riding ponies in a field of your favorite flowers? Kanye West and Old Spice Man in an epic battle of awesomeness and ego. I'm on a swan.

(If you are mean to Kanye puppies cry.)

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, also? Old Spice Man needs both a nemesis and a a femal counterpart and a female counterpart. And they can team up and fught cripme and be ridiculously good looking.

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:16 am (UTC)(link)
The Old Spice Man has an inexplicable sex change and is suddenly the Old Spice Lady. What happens next?

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
ImageHello, ladies.

Look at your man. Now back to me. Now back to your man. Now back to me. I may not be a man, but I know what it's like to smell like a man, and I know what I like to smell on a man. I'll give you a hint: it's not those lady-scented body washes. No, those lady-scented body washes are for us -- at least, those of us who don't spend our days chasing down sharktopuslions from Titan or wrestling giant squids with our bare hands.

When I want a man, I want a man who smells like Old Spice. Just like this bottle I have here in my hand! Now, look! The bottle is now tickets to that thing you like. Look again! The tickets are now diamonds. Diamonds to buy you all the lady-scented body wash you want, and all the Old Spice body wash you need for your man.

And, ladies, if you don't want a man, I like long walks on the beach and swan dives off of cliffs into miraculously appearing jacuzzis. Give me a call.

I'm on a horse.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 03:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 02:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 03:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] saekhwa - 2010-08-04 17:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-25 02:38 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:47 am (UTC)(link)
Shawn and Gus are hired to investigate a crime involving Old Spice Man. Shawn has the obvious hots for Old Spice Man, and Gus is so jealous because, seriously, Old Spice Man?? And not Gus??? Then Old Spice Man works his magic on Gus and Gus starts wanting to do him too, and at first he gets all sneakily competitive with Shawn, but then they both admit what they're doing and decide to team up and seduce him together! Up to you whether Old Spice Man has any idea what's going on, and whether their seduction works!
bunners: (Default)

[personal profile] bunners 2010-08-04 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
I VOTE FOR THE OLD SPICE MAN MATCHMAKING AND OFFICIATING AT GUS AND SHAWN'S WEDDING.

(no subject)

[personal profile] toft - 2010-08-04 03:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] kristin - 2010-08-04 04:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 04:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-12 07:43 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gypsyjr - 2010-08-13 00:44 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
Or, honestly, Shawn and Gus are hired to investigate a crime that Old Spice Man is involved in. And absolutely anything that happens after that will be golden!

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
perhaps a diamond smuggling ring? alas, if only i could write!

FILL - Part 1

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 03:31 (UTC) - Expand

FILL - Part 2

[personal profile] kristin - 2010-08-04 03:54 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL - Part 2

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 04:23 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL - Part 2

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 05:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL - Part 2

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 12:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL - Part 2

[personal profile] musesfool - 2010-08-07 05:15 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL - Part 2

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-23 16:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL - Part 2

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-25 02:42 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL - Part 2

[personal profile] kristin - 2011-05-25 02:58 (UTC) - Expand

Re: FILL - Part 2

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-31 02:04 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 02:55 am (UTC)(link)
Are You There God? It's Me, The Old Spice Man.

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Guy encounters FEMINIST HULK (http://twitter.com/feministhulk) in the shower. Judith Butler ensues?
theleaveswant: text "make something beautiful" on battered cardboard sign in red, black, and white (zoe made of awesome)

[personal profile] theleaveswant 2010-08-04 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
And that, jedis and lentilmen, is the sound of my brain breaking IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 06:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] bunners - 2010-08-04 07:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gavagai - 2010-08-04 07:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 08:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 16:39 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] tiferet - 2010-08-04 08:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 08:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 11:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] were_duck - 2010-08-04 12:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] meloukhia - 2010-08-04 12:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ruthi - 2010-08-04 13:04 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] arallara - 2010-08-04 13:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] transient - 2010-08-04 13:12 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] toft - 2010-08-04 13:35 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] isagel - 2010-08-04 13:42 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sasha_feather - 2010-08-04 13:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] copracat - 2010-08-04 14:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 14:28 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] jadelennox - 2010-08-04 14:50 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] glass_icarus - 2010-08-04 15:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] oliviacirce - 2010-08-04 15:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] musesfool - 2010-08-04 16:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] starlady - 2010-08-04 18:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] jibrailis - 2010-08-04 18:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] darkemeralds - 2010-08-04 18:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] such_heights - 2010-08-04 18:47 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mresundance - 2010-08-04 19:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] ariestess - 2010-08-04 20:05 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] calligrafiti - 2010-08-04 21:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] annotated_em - 2010-08-04 21:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] secondsilk - 2010-08-04 23:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] eatsscissors - 2010-08-05 02:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] lorax - 2010-08-05 02:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] verity - 2010-08-05 03:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] adrian_turtle - 2010-08-12 15:23 (UTC) - Expand

ZOMG!

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-15 18:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] bwhahahabeck - 2010-08-05 03:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-05 04:07 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] not_sally - 2010-08-05 04:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] zahrawithaz.livejournal.com - 2010-08-05 05:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] timeasmymeasure - 2010-08-05 06:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] marina - 2010-08-05 09:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] nomelon - 2010-08-05 09:24 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] waywren - 2010-08-05 14:40 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] bliumchik - 2010-08-05 15:03 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] lurkmuch - 2010-08-05 15:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] redbrickrose - 2010-08-05 17:36 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] brightlywoven - 2010-08-05 21:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] bobrhyn.livejournal.com - 2010-08-05 22:29 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] erraticvariable - 2010-08-05 22:48 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] eleanor_lavish - 2010-08-05 23:06 (UTC) - Expand

YES YES YES

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-06 01:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-06 01:09 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] prophetic - 2010-08-06 05:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] debitha - 2010-08-06 09:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] cimorene - 2010-08-06 11:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] silverhare - 2010-08-06 12:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] genarti - 2010-08-06 15:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] bearleft - 2010-08-06 17:13 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] lifeonqueen - 2010-08-06 17:22 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gchick - 2010-08-06 17:34 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] katewrites - 2010-08-06 19:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] muccamukk - 2010-08-06 19:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] kiki_eng - 2010-08-06 21:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sobsister - 2010-08-06 22:35 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] danny - 2010-08-07 01:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] jhameia - 2010-08-07 18:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] stultiloquentia - 2010-08-07 21:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] obsession_inc - 2010-08-10 20:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gabbysilang - 2010-08-10 21:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] loligo - 2010-08-11 19:33 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] wordweaverlynn - 2010-08-11 20:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] prettybird - 2010-08-11 21:06 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] cynthia1960 - 2010-08-11 21:24 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] princessofgeeks - 2010-08-11 21:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] noelfigart - 2010-08-11 22:48 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sistabro - 2010-08-11 22:54 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-12 01:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] sara - 2010-08-12 01:41 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-12 07:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[identity profile] lexica510.livejournal.com - 2010-08-12 16:35 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-12 16:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gnomad - 2010-08-12 23:17 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] bugeyedmonster - 2010-08-13 21:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] soc_puppet - 2010-08-14 09:19 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] trixtah - 2010-08-14 12:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] chocolatehearts - 2010-08-14 18:59 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] anonymous_sibyl - 2010-08-15 16:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-15 17:55 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-16 07:02 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] kirsty - 2010-08-19 19:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-20 03:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] charlieblue - 2010-08-26 15:45 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] amonitrate - 2010-08-27 01:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] spuffyduds - 2010-08-27 04:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] teithiwr - 2010-09-18 12:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] supermouse - 2011-02-06 17:56 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-26 03:05 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Man. John Sheppard. Bodyswap. Bonus points for masturbation and/or either one of them having sex with Rodney.

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 04:13 am (UTC)(link)
"Look down. Now back to me."

"What?"

"Look back to me, Rodney."

"I'm working, Sheppard, what the hell do you want?"

"The ancient devices are now diamonds."

"No they're - what the hell? Give me back my ancient devices!"

"McKay. I think you're in need of some of some embraces of man-love. Smell me."

"Um - Sheppard, you should know I'm deeply uncomfortable with our proximity right now -"

"Be silent, Rodney. Feel the love. Feel what I have to give you."

"Colonel -"

"Look down."

"Yes, I can see."

"It's that thing you like."

"You realize that Zelenka is sitting right there?"

"Radek and I go way back, Rodney. Was it in 2003 that we swam together for clams in Maui?"

"It was, Old Spice Man. Those were good times. Rodney, look down."

"No!"

"Rodney. I will pleasure myself on your face."

"Oh my god! No!"

"Feel my love, Rodney. My love will become diamonds."

"Help! Zelenka! Teyla! Oh my god!"

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 04:30 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-04 04:44 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] mific - 2010-08-04 10:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-05 11:26 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-06 01:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-31 00:11 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
It's a battle for the souls (or at least scents) of all of Ohtori Acadamy! The Old Spice Man on his horse versus Akio and his Car.

Fill: The Petals Are Now Diamonds

[identity profile] nevacaruso.livejournal.com 2010-08-14 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
Hello, Mr. End of the World. Look at your Duelists. Now back to me. Now back to your Duelists. Sadly, they’re not me. But if they stopped wearing so many roses and switched to Old Spice, they could fight like they’re me.

Look down. Back up. Where are you? You’re in a car, with the man your Duelists could smell like.

What’s in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It’s a rose, with two blossoms from that garden you love. Look again. The petals are now
diamonds.

Anything is possible when your Duelists smell like Old Spice and not a princess.

I’m on a horse.


--

“Actually, technically, you’re not on a horse,” Akio points out. “You’re in my car, and you shall play by my rules.” Normally, he would take would take full and complete advantage of an undeniably handsome man wearing shorts, a towel round his shoulders, and absolutely nothing else, but he was disturbingly surprised to see this gentleman posed on his horse in the middle of the road.

Akio dislikes surprises, especially in his own domain.

“Yes,” his passenger replies, “but can your rules win you your heart’s desire?”

“These things take time, my friend.”

“And clearly you’re spending most of that time driving around off-campus and dazzling your students with your evil genius and remarkable body. It’s not as dazzling or remarkable as mine, of course, but very impressive, nonetheless.”

“Is that so?”

“Are you offering to put my theory to the test?”

Akio recovers and veers around another corner. “I would much rather have you as my ally than as my rival. I hope that in time, you will –“ he places one hand on the Old Spice Man’s bare knee – “come around to that choice, yourself.”

The Old Spice Man just smiles. “Mr. End of the World, your evil genius has just made a deal with my sculpted muscles and succulent scent.”

--

When the Old Spice Man arrives on campus – on a horse – and the student body flocks toward him; when Touga swaggers forward and all but begs for a ride; when Anthy refuses to share whatever she is scheming, Akio almost begins to regret his decision.

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 03:44 am (UTC)(link)
Speaking of Old Spice Man and USA shows, White Collar and Old Spice Man! Neal thinks Peter needs a Signature Look (or smell, as it goes), and who better to help out than the Old Spice Man?

(Anonymous) 2010-08-05 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
OH MY GOD. Yes.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-15 02:49 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] transient - 2010-08-16 00:51 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-21 01:37 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-27 01:39 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 03:48 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Guy and Leverage. "Let's go steal some body wash."

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Oh yes, PLEASE, somebody fill this!

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 09:11 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Man meets John Barrowman. On a boat. This comment is now a musical.

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 04:42 pm (UTC)(link)
THIS. OMG.

(no subject)

[personal profile] quinfirefrorefiddle - 2010-08-04 17:48 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-11 20:53 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-15 02:54 (UTC) - Expand

Fill

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-28 21:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-28 21:59 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 09:21 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Guy in the Watchmen universe. How will the world react to someone being even more remarkably shirtless and muscular than Dr. Manhattan? How will Veidt try to market it? And just how annoyed can Rorschach get?

Filled: Rorschach's Journal, August 12

(Anonymous) 2010-08-13 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
August 12.

Waded through the scummy underbelly of the bloated crackwhore society calls
internet. Stupidity forms an endless horizon. Pointless statements as numerous as roaches. They scatter at my boots, revealing empty nothing in their wake.

Met a man. Smelled of manly scents, rode horse.

Definitely not homosexual.

Horse became diamonds, was unimpressed. Diamonds became motorcycle in a jacuzzi. Somehow we are in a shower. Suspect foul play.

Intriguing concept: This is the foul play my foul play could smell like.

Re: Filled: Rorschach's Journal, August 12

(Anonymous) - 2011-04-20 04:20 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-04 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
The Old Spice Guy meets the Most Interesting Man in the World. What will happen when worlds collide?

(Most Interesting Man Dos Equis ad collection: here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U18VkI0uDxE))
plazmah: Abstract circle and square with "plazmah" underneath (glee: mercedes)

[personal profile] plazmah 2010-08-05 01:14 pm (UTC)(link)
I need this in my life.

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-13 00:01 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-13 03:31 (UTC) - Expand
ellen_fremedon: overlapping pages from Beowulf manuscript, one with a large rubric, on a maroon ground (Default)

[personal profile] ellen_fremedon 2010-08-04 11:15 pm (UTC)(link)
You win at everything.

(Anonymous) 2010-08-05 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Man. Luke Cage. Write me a fic where they interact anon? Or maybe where they're the same person and Cage!Old Spice Man proceeds to grace the Marvel Universe with his majesty?

(Extra points for Iron Fist!)

Now with pictures!

[identity profile] badumtish.livejournal.com 2010-08-05 03:53 am (UTC)(link)
Hello, Danny.
Look at your girl, now back to me, now back at your girl, now back to me. Sadly, she isn't me, but if she stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, she could smell like she’s me.
(http://i29.tinypic.com/vy9ky1.jpg)

Look down, back up. Where are you? You're in K'un-Lun with the man your girl could smell like!

What’s in your hand? Back at me.
I have it, it’s an oyster with slippers from that brand you love. (http://i31.tinypic.com/izqgwm.jpg)

Look again.
The slippers are now egg rolls. (http://i30.tinypic.com/260dbp4.jpg)

Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady.

I’m on a horse. (http://i30.tinypic.com/9h2j45.jpg)

Re: Now with pictures!

[personal profile] bwhahahabeck - 2010-08-05 03:56 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Now with pictures!

[personal profile] bwhahahabeck - 2010-08-05 03:58 (UTC) - Expand

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[personal profile] dytabytes - 2010-08-05 04:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Now with pictures!

[personal profile] blackruzsa - 2010-12-02 13:22 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Now with pictures!

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-27 02:16 (UTC) - Expand
retrofit: Amazonian hunter (Default)

[personal profile] retrofit 2010-08-05 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
BRILLIANCE!

FILL - and darkness was upon the face of the deep

(Anonymous) 2010-08-05 05:13 am (UTC)(link)
Out in the depths of the Antarctic, a team of explorers is forging through the bitter cold and the oppressive darkness, striving to recover the lost treasures hidden deep in the ice. They are weary, hungry, weak. The supplies have dwindled almost to nothing and only force of will is keeping them moving forward.

Finally, the last man drops to his knees. His smile is fake and weak, but all his companions can see in the darkness is a dim flash of teeth anyway.

"Looks like this is the end of the line. It's... If I'm going out, I'm glad it's with guys like you."

"Same here, Jim."

"It's been an honour. Just wish I coulda seen the sun one last time..."

"Don't worry. Heaven's bright and so's hell, ya bastard."

The three men punch each other, curled together in the frigid black of the Antarctic night.

In the distance, a light shines.

"I see the chariot comin' for me, Ray. I think I see it..."

"Y- No, wait! That's not a chariot, that's-!"

The figure in the distance races closer and closer with every moment. The men scramble upright, squinting, and their eyes go wide when they realize what sight is before them.

He is tall, muscular, and shining like the sun. His body is clad in only a towel, in direct opposition to all common sense. He is steering a pack of six huge panting wolves and carries a steaming hot mug of coffee in his hands.

"Gentleman. One of you has been wearing lady-scented bodywash..."

He is a miracle.

(Anonymous) 2010-08-05 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
The Old Spice Man meets up with Crowley and/or Aziraphale. After all, a gentlebeing must use one's powers for Good Evil Awesome the olfactory and visual pleasure of the ladies.

Second!

(Anonymous) 2010-08-05 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)
Seconded so hard.

Fill

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-15 03:36 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill

(Anonymous) - 2010-08-15 09:14 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Fill

[personal profile] paraka - 2011-05-30 22:53 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) 2010-08-05 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Man meets Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. It's pretty clear that John Watson will not be wearing lady-scented body wash. Perhaps Holmes is?

(Anonymous) 2010-08-05 10:13 am (UTC)(link)
Old Spice Man meets Perfect Italiano Man (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgBEpkaIhcs)! Slash, gen, anything.

(Bonus second Perfect Italiano ad (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAOiNVK3mzQ) which I actually prefer. "I love to listen with power. I love to listen to the problems of your friends. Tell me more!")

(Anonymous) 2010-08-05 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
This has to be done!
dmp: Taking a stroll in my finery (Default)

[personal profile] dmp 2010-08-05 12:33 pm (UTC)(link)
You win at life.

Page 1 of 3

<< [1] [2] [3] >>